Separation – separating the child from the parents

Separation; why impact the life of a child? What are separation, points, and types? How and at what age does separating a child from parents take place? It is important to know! Psychological separation from parents is not a simple series of changes in a child’s developmental stages, controlled by their psychological data. The parents should oversee this process. If they have not dealt with such parents’ “burden” awaits them in a dark old age.

Staged separation problems

The problem of child separation depends on the family. The father is busy at work and cannot give the children enough time. And here’s the significant role of the mother. Raising children will be successful if she is not hit by the family and her personal problems, such as poor health. When they grow up, they will leave their parents without much difficulty and begin to live an independent life. The reasons for ineffective separation are many.

At all stages of a child’s development and growth, they may include the following:

  • Difficult childbirth … When a woman has psychosis or depression after birth. Such a severe mental condition is accompanied by inappropriate behavior. A young mother is indifferent to the child or has unreasonable anxiety that everything is terrible with him. And she can’t do anything; she’s afraid to take responsibility for his life. He can even leave the child in the hospital. In this case, psychologists discuss a violation of attachment (attachment to the child). It is pretty natural that when such a woman still raises a child, his spiritual development will not be complete. It will affect the separation process. She will not succeed. By becoming an adult, such a child will not be able to adapt to adult life; it will have infantile, childish characteristics and behavior.
  • Infant, toddler … When the baby starts to walk. The mother constantly watches over him and tries to tie him to herself. It is followed by constant yelling so that he behaves better; for example, he does not go to the puddle or does not go where it is not necessary. At this stage, there is complete reunification of the mother (child). But this cannot continue for long. The child learns about the world; everything is fascinating; he is hilarious and does not understand why he constantly hears bans. And here, the main thing is not to overdo it with a veto. You need to know where it is necessary to give the child independence; so that he feels his total worth and grows up as a flawed individual. In this case, separation will be successful and will not cause any complaints in the future.
  • Kindergarten and primary school … The child learns more and more about the world around him. The authority of their father and mother is not always sufficient to explain rationally everything that happens around them. The departure of parents is increasing. And they are afraid of losing control of the baby. Prohibitions begin. Do not do this or that, do not do this and that. However, this no longer works. The child is hilarious, but since he is still psychologically entirely dependent on the elders, he finally calms down. And it’s good if the elders can explain the intricacies of human relationships to the child, and he will understand this. Then the process of separation will not be painful, and abnormal alienation will not grow in the family between adults and children.
  • Adolescence… It is the time of puberty (puberty) when looks, behaviors, and hobbies change. Adolescents already live their spiritual lives independently of their parents, but they remain materially dependent on them. Elders need to pay attention to the requests and behaviors of their children. At this time, the most intense process of separation began: children are increasingly meticulous about the views of the “old people” and often disagree. And they do not even accept the idea that children may think differently. Internal spiritual isolation takes place. Suppose a boy or girl wants to spend more time with their friends, but mom and dad forbid it. As you have to learn otherwise, you will grow up ignorant. But some problems lead to severe conflicts between “fathers and children.” For example, a son who is not really on his feet wants to get married, and the father and mother do not like the bride. They are against the wedding. A severe disagreement develops in the adolescent’s open alienation from his “relatives.” In addition, an unfavorable separation process may involve an eternal nature, self-doubt, for example, motherhood. Or she suffers from a feeling of imperfection that nothing in her life has proved to her. It conveys all its negative emotions to the child, which does not contribute to its full development and successful entry into a new adult life.

It is important to know! The age of separation from parents is significant. At any stage, it is impossible to frighten a child (teenager) with horror stories “globally” that, without the help of his parents, he will not be able to solve his problems. Such exaggeration of external danger guarantees that the child will grow up with shyness, and his development will slow down. And this is a failed separation from the parents.

Results of positive separation from parents

If separation from parents is successful, this will positively affect the child. He learns to control his emotions, which is essential in relationships. And he realizes his position in the world. After all, each person is a universe, and it’s good when a person is unique and stands out for their personal qualities, which help to build their life successfully.

The positive aspects of parental separation are the following:

  • Becoming “I” … When he becomes a majority, the child has fully formed his attitude to the reality around him and understands its place in the world. The teenager has become independent, and the emotional connection with his parents is so weak (quite naturally) that he does not bother to start an independent life.
  • Proper parental care prevents you from doing bad things … Sensible communication with parents (it depends primarily on them) helps to avoid problems in families where natural separation is disturbed and children “get out of control” – they obey not at all their elders. Such kids are often sucked into the street; they end up in the wrong company and become alcoholics, drug addicts, and drug addicts. Girls can go into prostitution; they often have a premature birth.
  • Early marriages are excluded … The child grows, and the family ties weaken. Still, the teenager realizes that even great love is not a reason to start a family ahead of time, as he has not yet become entirely independent, independent. First, you need to stand firm, for example, finish your studies and get a job, so as not to sit with your young wife on the neck of your ancestors.
  • Well-formed life goals … Father and mother, raising children, teach them to “grow up” according to their age and gradually accustom them to independent thinking and behavior. For example, a young person dresses and, in adolescence – helps with household chores and, if necessary, prepares food. Encourage the child to show interest in, for example, sports. They instruct you that you need to set a meaningful life goal, achieve it through ongoing, systematic work on yourself and avoid emotional failure, which will only complicate your life.

It is important to know! The gradual psychological departure of the child from the family does not mean that he will not have any problems in the future. It may well even be. Proper separation helps children stand on their own two feet, preparing for the rest of their lives outside their parents.



Separation is an objective life process. The individual’s socialization is impossible without the psychological separation of children from their parents. As a child grows, he fully assimilates the rules, norms, knowledge, and skills that help him integrate successfully with people. If separation is ineffective, the child will not take place as an essential person for society. The repayment for this will fall on the father and mother. And this is old age, devoid of soft, warm colors, anxiety, and anxiety that a son or daughter has suffered a loss in adulthood.